Claudius Dining and Side Chairs

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As a young man, Claudius Table became obsessed with the meaning of his name. He knew the Roman derivation meant “lame.” But that certainly didn’t apply to him, because he was sturdy and strong and had even heard people exclaim about how beautiful he was. So, he thought, maybe he had been named after King Claudius from Hamlet. However, that Claudius had murdered his brother to marry his sister-in-law and become King of Denmark — definitely nothing to be proud of there. So Claudius Table decided to begin psychotherapy. After years of weekly meetings with his therapist, he had an epiphany upon learning that there were chairs that had been specifically designed to sit next to him and were named – yes, you guessed it — Claudius Chairs. From that moment on, Claudius Table never again thought about his name but simply enjoyed being someone who brought a lot to the table while hanging around with his namesake chairs.

Banquo Table and Chairs

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With a famous relative named Macbeth, Banquo Table and his four young Banquo chair sons, were convinced that good luck was not to be part of their lives. After all, how many mothers run off with their lovers leaving four young chairs to be raised by their dad?  It could only be the curse of the Macbeth family; tragedy was their lot. One night, Banquo Table had a strange dream in which he saw three witches, arms around each other, long sheer black dresses swaying in the breeze, singing in unison, “Double, double, toil and trouble, we simply can’t stop blowing bubbles…” (this being some 2014 dreamlike version of the original Shakespeare). Banquo Table actually saw the witches laughing and blowing bubbles into the air. Suddenly, he had an insight: this was a sign that the Banquo Family’s luck was changing. Instead of plotting murder, these dreamy witches were a sign that life would be fun from now on! And sure enough, life for the Banquos has been a blast ever since that dream, more than six months ago. Now, if you look up at the sky (particularly at the witching hour), you may be lucky enough to see one of the magical Banquo Family bubbles floating by.

Astrid Oval & Dax

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Astrid is very social; she loves entertaining and insists on living only in the dining room where she can be the center of attention. But there was a problem, Astrid couldn’t keep any of the chairs selected to sit around her – they all felt she was too full of herself.   After a few weeks they would sneak out of the room whenever Astrid would take a nap. Then one day, Dax appeared wearing a soft fabric suit over foam. Astrid could feel her heart begin to beat and knew immediately what it was about Dax that made her so excited! It was his color that exuded his strong masculine energy. Astrid asked Dax what she could do to have him stay with her forever. Dax told her she had to let him share the spotlight. Astrid was quiet for just a moment and then she said “Of course, you’re the one I want to spend my life with!” and they have been together ever since.

The Macbeth Family

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Even though named after a famous tragic play, the Macbeth Family always had fun. Every month they had a Macbeth Family meeting where they gave reports of the best compliments and wittiest comments they heard. This last Sunday Macbeth Dining Table said, “The best compliment I heard this week was, ‘I love you.’” Then Macbeth Side Chair said, “The funniest insult I heard this week was, ‘I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.’”   Macbeth Bench said, “listen to this one; last night a lady said to her dinner partner, ‘If you were my husband, I’d put poison in your tea.’ And he said, ‘If I were your husband, I’d drink it.’” With that they called it a night and said, “Have fun, see you next month!”

Shyam and WeylynBLK, GRN, ORG, PUR, and WHT

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When the Weylyn sextuplets  were born they were all given the same name but with the color added since their parents wanted each to have his own individual identity.  They were known as WeylynBLK, WeylynGRN, WeylynORG, WeylynPUR, WeylynRED, and Weylyn Wht., and indeed each became “his own man”.  They were different colors, but all true to the meaning of their name, which is son of the wolf,  and genetically programed with a need for adventure.  They wanted to see the world and being from the Midwest, they craved an extreme change, something exotic, something far away.  And what could be more exotic than India!

Needless to say, it was a very long flight and finally checking in at the hotel the brothers couldn’t wait to get up to their room.  When they entered the room, the first thing they saw was a beautiful sofa who smiled and said “Welcome, Weylyns, my name is Shyam and I would like to get up to greet you, but as you see, I can’t; you’ll have to come to me so we can visit and become friends.  They happily  did, became friends, and lived happily ever after!

Lafau Sofa Bed and Cabrio Tables

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Lafau was very happy to be born a sofa where he would be spending his life in the living room; since the living room is the place where people share stories of who they are.  Lafau enjoyed helping people sit back and relax, which is why he always wore soft cozy upholstery and enjoyed turning himself into a bed whenever his guests wanted it.  His constant companions, the Cabrio occasional tables, are proud of being what they call the “new breed” of table with transparent legs that, even though now there are others, the Cabrio family are still proud that they were the first.

So Lafau and Cabrio, always waiting to greet you whenever you enter the living room. 

Celia Clothing and Coat Rack

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When Celia was just a little girl she knew that “coat” rack was the wrong name for her and her five sisters. What if it is hot, she thought, would we have to wear a coat? And that’s how she got into politics. Just because they were girls, should not mean they had no say about what people called them. She had no trouble raising her campaign funds and no problem with lots of speaking engagements where, with her charisma she was able to convince the world that Celia and her sisters would from now on be allowed to call themselves Celia Coat and Clothing Rack. No discrimination allowed here.

Manon and Dirk

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The Manon Family has finally overcome the tragedy of their ancestry and is actually proud that the world knows them thanks to the 19th century composer, Jules Massenet who wrote the famous opera about their great, great aunt Manon who met a tragic end. But it was so long ago, they no longer feel embarrassed, but proud that they are now known by the world and are in demand. Further – it is fortunate that they are a big family because as soon as one Manon reaches full growth – he is snatched up and copies cannot be made fast enough. The Original Manon Desk and Sideboard were bought by a retired chairman of the board and placed in a posh penthouse office with Dirk Armless Low Back Office Chair – a perfect match since Dirk’s name means a type of dagger. So Dirk sits calmly next to the Manon brothers protecting them from being snatched away and copied by strangers with no rights to the Manon Family Legacy.

Cabrio and Sy

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When Cabrio was born – his entire family was upset  because no one could see his legs – how was he ever going to be a success in the family table business – who ever heard of a table who couldn’t stand up. There was lots of discussion and ideas tossed around of what to do with this family freak – put him out for adoption? Abandon him in front of a used furniture store?

One day, when he was almost a year old, the family was sitting around discussing the situation as usual when Cabrio  appeared at the door fully upright!

OMG they all said – he can stand, and he is beautiful! “Of course,” he said, “I am the new breed of table with transparent legs – haven’t you heard, this is the coming thing!  Hearing him say that Sy chair, known for his sincerity, said “you’re gorgeous – can my sisters and I sit around you?  Natrually, Cabrio replied, I am honored – of all the chairs in the world – I would choose you to be next to me forever; and they are.